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Solo Camping

This past weekend marked the first time I went camping alone.  In the past, I had gone with my family, even just me and the girls, but never alone.  After months of putting my social network together, some dating out of my system and getting myself emotionally ready, I headed out.  I bought a State Parks Pass for $70 the last time I took the girls camping.  With it, you get your day use fee covered which is $7 per adult and 10% off at the shop.  It does not take long for the pass to pay for itself, assuming you visit more that a couple of time per year.

My inaugural trip was to Enchanted Rock.  It is a massive pink granite outcropping in south Texas.  There are miles of hiking as well as a great view from atop the dome.  All that was available was primitive camping which is on the west side of the park.  The ranger checked me in recommended Moss Lake as it has a better view and I would agree.

My first hike in was difficult to say the least.  I had packed all my gear for one trip in.  I had my tent, air mattress, sleeping bag, chair, clothes and other gear all tightly packed.  The total weight was somewhere around 40-50 lbs.  That needs to get significantly lighter.

I took the trail suggested by the ranger which was up summit to Echo Canyon pass.  What I was unaware of was you make it about halfway up the summit before turning down into the canyon.  Once you make it all the way us, then you have to maneuver over large boulders and a creek to reach the bottom where it finally levels off.  Doing that hike without the pack would have been difficult, with the pack almost made me want to turn around and go home.  I had to rest a couple of times, but I pressed on.

It was definitely worth the walk.  I got to see the moon and sun rise from my tent.

While I was there, the wind was pretty strong starting in the evening and continuing overnight.  My little tent held up well.  There were plenty of bugs, but I came prepared with a natural cedar based bug repellent and sulfur.  If there were chiggers out there, they did not bother me.  The mosquitoes also kept their distance.  The only trouble I had was with the gnats.  It was hard to stand still and not get a dozen in my eyes, noes and ears.  The bug repellent did not seem to help either.  All told, I did not get eaten up so I count that a success.

I walked the entire look trail, back through the canyon and up on top of the dome all on Saturday.  While making it around, I met a small group making it to their campsite.  They offered me a seat and a beer so I stopped and chatted a while.  While I was here specifically for solitude, I think one of the best aspects of camping is the the social element.  Most of the time, people are very friendly, open and they are from all over.

I stayed at the top to watch the sunset and then the stars come out.  You are no far enough away from cities to prevent light pollution, but you can still see quite a few stars as well as satellites.  I wanted to stay and watch the moon rise, but it was getting late, very dark, windy and a tad bit cooler.  I made it down in the dark and back to my tent unscathed.  The next morning after striking camp, I decided to take the outer edge around the Little Rock because I just did not feel I could make the climb out of the canyon with my pack.  It’s about a mile longer, but the terrain is much easier.

I left about 9am and went to the town of Llano where I got fuel and breakfast.  I ate at the Hungry Hunter.  The food was good and the price was reasonable.  I headed out and went to Dinosaur Valley State Park.  I wanted a patch since I’m collecting them from the parks and I wanted a little more hiking.  I took the trail up on the ridge, past Wildcat Hollow Falls and back down to the river.

I got a little turned around at the end, but found my way out.  It was really hot and rocky, but the view was amazing.

All totaled, I must have hiked about 15 miles over some challenging terrain.  I learned that I need some lighter gear.  I want to make other trips up higher mountains, so getting in shape an minimizing the weight on my back will be necessary.  It was an amazing weekend and I look forward to future trips with friends, family and solo.

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Back on the Wagon

Over the past couple of month, I have let me spending get away from me.  My financial house is a lot like my physique.  Not bad, but not what I want it to be.  With just a little more effort, it can be amazing.  To that end, I started reading the Total Money Makeover again.  I get exasperated with the spiritual overtones of the book, but I appreciate the message. Do the simple things (not easy) and reap the rewards.  My oldest daughter is in band now.  She has excelled very quickly, but was wanting to know what she could do to get really good.  I told her to practice her scales.  It’s basic.  It’s tedious. And at first really boring.  However, once you get good, get them memorized and know them well, you can zip up and down, make up little tunes and it improves your ability in all the music you’ll read.  Just from doing some basic (not easy) things, you can get huge results.

Due to a windfall, I am paying off my credit cards and setting a little aside.  I have a good chance at getting ahead with a little planning.  I’ll have to sacrifice some trips I wanted to take this year and postpone some other plans, but by next year I should be in a better position to do those things.  In the meantime, it’s just keeping it simple and cheap with the kiddos and when hanging out with friends.

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The Joker

No doctor, not all villains are born that way…
…many are just normal people…

…living regular lives…mowing lawns…driving in traffic…

…but they get pushed…take on more than they can handle…

…at that point doctor, you have a choice: cry about your miserable life…

…or laugh about it.

Now let’s put a smile on that face.
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Forgiveness

I have read much about forgiveness.  Forgiving others and forgiving ourselves are both important for maintaining inner peace and reducing stress.  What I have found is how difficult that is when you are trying to be better, improve and forgive yourself but are jeered by those who know your mistakes.  It’s like Dan Quayle speaking on the importance of good spelling.  Some people just won’t let you live down the mistake.  They just won’t forgive you.  It’s at these times we have to consciously remind ourselves that the failing is theirs, not ours.  If you have acknowledge the mistake, taken responsibility for it, tried to make amends when possible and work to not make the same mistake again, then you can forgive yourself and ignore jeers of those trying to bring you down.  Always easier said than done.  It’s a process and one that takes work. Just don’t give up and decide they are right or that you might as well just be what they think you are.

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Memphis, TN

This past weekend I too the Princesses to Memphis, TN.  I had some free nights for Hilton, so I thought it was a good way to end their spring break.  It was a payroll week and their mom was not accommodating, so I was limited on what days and how long we could be gone.  We headed out on Friday and stopped at the place my mom and grandmother are buried in Texarkana.  I had tired to find their graves one other time without success.   I got picks of the markers.  Next we stopped at the Arkansas state capital.  We then passed by the President William Clinton library before betting back on the road.  The capital was really nice, but the roads around there are a nightmare.

We arrived at our hotel about 6pm.  The concierge was very friendly and we got coupons for free breakfast.  The room was on the 23rd floor with an amazing view and two fluffy queen beds.  The only real complaint I had was you could hear the highway noise and guests in another room.  Otherwise, everything was perfect.

We hit Graceland and got to see all the cars, airplanes and the mansion.  The home is modest by today’s standards, but must have been an amazing place in it’s day.  Abby got bored pretty quick and wanted to get to the zoo.  We arrived at the zoo about 2pm and had plenty of time to make it once around before they closed at 5.  It was as large as the one in Fort Worth, but with much fewer people.  They had a huge assortment of animals and all looked well kept.

We ended the day with dinner at the BBQ shop not far from the zoo.  The food was amazing.  There was so much we got full and still had leftovers to take home.

I was glad to have the time with my babies, though my emotions were mixed.  On the one hand, travel was much easier with only one adult to make the plans.  There was much less fighting too.  On the other hand, it was a bit sad since something just felt missing.  I want to spend plenty of time with the girls and give them experiences I didn’t get when I was younger.  I have a big trip planned for September that should get me father of the year status.

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The Thursday Strawberry

From my daughter:

The Thursday Strawberry 
Memphis Tennessee is an awe-deserving city that is where blues, soul, and rock n’ roll music, as well as being the unrivaled barbeque capital of the nation. Memphis also has big connections to Elvis Presley such as in Graceland where Elvis Presley’s home is, complete with the jungle room (a room that Elvis Presley decorated to look like a jungle). There’s also the Children’s Museum of Memphis and the march of the famous Peabody ducks (both perfect for little ones), picnicking and bison-watching at Shelby Farms Park, and even more animals, including giant pandas, at Memphis Zoo. Memphis is truly a great vacation site.  












1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1 lb confectioners’ sugar (3 to 3 1/2 cups)
1 1/2 cups peanut butter
1 cup butter, melted
1 (12 ounce) bag milk chocolate chips
Directions:
 1. Combine graham crumbs, sugar and peanut butter and mix well.
2. Blend in melted butter until well combined.
3. Press mixture evenly into a 9 x 13 inch pan.
4. Melt chocolate chips in microwave or in double boiler.
5. Spread over peanut butter mixture.
6. Chill until just set and cut into bars (these are very hard to cut if the chocolate gets “rock hard”.
Read more: www.food.com





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Dating…again.

My marriage has ended after 15 years and now I have to get back on the horse, rejoin the race and see what’s out there.  I can say without a hint of irony that this is not where I saw myself at 40.  I was not especially good at dating 20 years ago, so the idea is a bit daunting.  However, being one that never backs down from a challenge,  I see this as an opportunity to correct past mistakes and finally find the person I am supposed to be with.

I approached this challenge like I do many others.  I took stock of my strengths and weaknesses, looked at what I wanted and then jumped in with both feet.  On the plus side, I look younger than I am, I’m fit and healthy, I dress well, have a stable job and very little drama in my life.  On the list of possible obstacles, I am the father of three kids, the divorce is not quite finished and I am still in the process of rebuilding my identity as a single man.

Since I’d prefer to be with someone that could eventually be my partner, I don’t think cruising bars is the best approach.  I joined a few dating sites.

  1. Match.com
  2. Plenty of Fish (POF)
  3. eHarmony
  4. Zoosk
To date, I have met women from the first three.  Zoosk seems to be the lest user friendly and begs for money at every turn.  Next is eHarmony that give you very limited choices, doled out each day a little at a time and goes wildly outside your preferred range.  Match.com and POF have the best user interface, plenty of choices close by and most users have multiple pictures.
What I have learned in my short time.  Have multiple pictures of yourself and make sure at least a few are full body and recent.  Don’t stand in front of a mirror, don’t be shirtless, do not wear hats and no duck lips.  For both men and women, there are a lot of people putting pictures of themselves up from years ago.  Weight and hair color changes surprise you on your first meet.  Treat this a bit like looking for a job.  Know what you want, don’t settle for less and send out feelers as much as possible.  Network when possible, blind contact as needed.  The more your name and face are out there the better chance you have of being seen.

Have a thick skin.  You will face rejection…a lot of it.  Keep in mind, women have guys copy paste them all day long.  They may reach your message at the end of thirty and delete it without looking.  Or maybe you aren’t what they are looking for.  That’s fine, move on.  NEVER contact a person more than twice.  Once should be enough, but on that off chance it got nixed.  If a woman is gracious enough to to message you back to say no way, say thank you and move on.  Every woman has a story about saying no thank you and being verbally attacked for it.

In summary, know what you want, what you have to offer and put yourself out there.  No one is going to come knock on your door.  You will fail, a lot, but that’s fine because the payoff is worth it.  Don’t go looking for love, look for interesting people that compliment your strengths and weaknesses.  Most important, have fun.  Enjoy yourself even if it does not go the way you want.  It’ll at least be a story to tell your friends later.

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Divorce

It’s official.  As of this morning, I am no longer married.  There were good times and bad times.  We produced three amazing little girls.  As far as divorce goes, this one was pretty easy and as sad as endings are, I’m glad it was her I got to go through it with.  Now the next chapter begins.

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Blessed

I’ve had my pity party.  Poor me, my marriage has ended.  Dating is hard.  I hate being alone.  You know what?  I am really blessed.  Or charmed.  Or damn lucky.  I have three amazing little girls who adore me.  They are healthy and happy.  And smart…REALLY smart.  I have a great job that pays well.  I am rather good looking, in my humble opinion.  I am healthy with all my faculties and parts.  I have met some very fascinating people, made some new friends, had some…interesting…experiences.  Sure I’m sorry one life had to end for another to begin, but that’s life.  If you understand things are not permanent, it’s easier to accept when they are gone.  It also helps to know you still have SO much!  Look on the bright side.  It could always be worse. (One more cliche’ here).